Danielle Keeler

think about it.

Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

Goodness. Gracious.

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I didn’t realize how long it had been since I wrote.  I am so sorry followers, I didn’t mean to abandon you (that is, assuming anyone actually checks my blog on a regular basis.  Let me dream.).  School is, as usual, hectic.  I just finished submitting a bunch of college applications, and I’ve finally got some time to sit down and write a good, solid post.  So here goes.

First off, my boyfriend insists that I put a message from him in here (he’s sitting at my kitchen table finishing his own college apps).

“To all of Danielle’s dearest followers: don’t let her talk you into thinking she’s normal.  She’s not.”

Thank you, darling.  Love you too.

Anyway.  Onward we go.  I am planning a pretty epic Star Wars marathon this weekend, to celebrate the end of the application process.  I got all my apps turned in early, so I’m completely done.  Now, I wait for a reply.  Let the nail biting commence.

I am dying to get into Penn.  I know it’s expensive, and I know the standards are high, but I have to go there.  Their criminology program is epic, and that’s what I want to major in.  And my family qualifies for a good bit of financial aid, so I think we could stretch the budget and make it work (I’m paying for half, so don’t think I’m naive enough to think my parents can summon money out of thin air.  I know how this stuff works).

I just realized that this article is extremely scattered.  Oops.  Maybe I’ll go for that whole stream of consciousness thing.  After all, it worked for Faulkner.  Then again, I absolutely hated reading his books…I hope my articles don’t sound like that.

My dog is currently obsessed with my guitar.  Every time I pull it out, he comes and sits at my feet like he wants nothing more than to hear me fail at teaching myself to play that damn instrument (it’s harder than it sounds).  I’ve been working for almost a month, and it’s very, very slow progress.  If anyone has any tips to speed up the process, I would love to hear them.

So I just realized my life is extremely dull.  I have nothing else to write about today.  OH! Vote Herman Cain in the Republican primaries (: that is all.

Written by Danielle Keeler

October 3, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Be confident

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I cannot stress this point enough.  It drives me insane to see girls who are so horribly self-conscious, and they think it makes them appealing.  It’s not cute to see someone who has so little respect for their self that it’s obvious to the rest of the world.  It’s annoying to hear “I’m fat” over and over from a girl who weighs 90 pounds soaking wet.  However, this is not limited to girls–it’s guys too.

I have a guy friend who has zero self-esteem.  He’s self conscious about his stomach, his acne scars (which I’ve seen, and they’re really not that bad), his hair, his skin, everything.  That kind of vanity is so incredibly unattractive, and completely turned me off when I first met him, even though he’s a very good looking guy.  The problem is, as soon as I met him, I could see that he had no confidence, and in my mind, it made him less attractive.

I don’t mean to sound insensitive about this.  Until I was about sixteen, I had horrible self-esteem.  I know how much it can hurt. It sucks.  But looking back on how I acted, I was one of those annoying girls.  Once I found my confidence, I was prettier, and other people noticed.  My friend Lauren came up to me one day, about two years ago, and said this:  “I don’t know what changed about you, but you’ve been so pretty lately.  I don’t think anything has physically changed–I’m just noticing it more.”  This was within two months of me realizing how pretty I am.  It’s not arrogant to realize you’re beautiful.  Rather, it’s arrogant to think that because you are beautiful, you are better than others.  Everyone, provided they take care of themselves, is beautiful.  Most of the world just doesn’t realize it.

It is not just outer beauty that people cannot see in themselves.  Many people have doubts about who they are, and whether they are worthy of being noticed.  The fact of the matter is, most people who are deemed “annoying” “stupid” or anything else, its because their behavior is fueled by low self-esteem.  Girls who are labeled “whores” typically act the way they do because they have no respect for themselves.  I’m not saying being confident makes your life easy, but it eliminates a large amount of problems before they begin.

I could not date a man who is not confident in himself.  My boyfriend is very similar to me in that he loves himself for who he is, and he knows he deserves respect.  This was what first drew me to him; I could see that while he was confident, he knew that he was still just a person, and no better than anyone else.  I could see that he genuinely cared about everyone, and that he wanted everyone to be as happy as he was.  He is not afraid to stand up for himself or anyone else, and I love that about him.

In conclusion, realize this: you are beautiful, inside and out.  I know it sounds redundant, but it really is true.  And if you ever feel like no one loves you, please email me.  I love you without even knowing you, and so do so many others–let us be here for you.

Written by Danielle Keeler

August 21, 2011 at 1:04 pm

For Jared:

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“You’re mouth is smiling but your eyes look all sad….why?”

My best friend picks up on this every time.  There are people–rare people–who have the ability to sense when people are really sad.  Not the “sad” that people use to get attention, but the true sadness that really cuts down to a person’s heart.  It’s a sadness we all feel at some point, and when it happens, most of us try to hide it.  It’s embarrassing.  No one wants to show that they’re hurting.  No one wants to feel weak.  No one wants to feel like they can’t control their life.  When someone is truly sad, the actor or actress in them comes out and puts on an Oscar-worthy performance.  It takes a very special person to pick up on that sadness, and I have a friend who can do it every time.

His name is Jared.  Jared is a person who defies many stereotypes, and has an uncanny ability to sense the thoughts of others.  He sometimes knows what I’m about to say before I know it myself, and then I realize he knew exactly what my reaction would have been.  Jared and I have been through so much together, and I wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world.  He truly is my best friend, the only friend I feel I can really trust. When I am hurting, he doesn’t let me act like nothing is wrong.  He won’t leave until I talk to him, even if it makes me mad in the moment, I know that he does it because he loves me enough not to let me pretend.

Beyond that, Jared is the most genuine person I have ever met.  He shows a compassion I have never seen in any other, a compassion so deep that it runs through his core and gives him the empathy that so many lack.  He protects me, and if anyone hurts me, I know Jared will be there to take care of me.  If I need help, there is no doubt in my mind that he would take any measure necessary to get it for me.  Jared, you don’t know how much I love you.  Thank you for everything.

Written by Danielle Keeler

August 1, 2011 at 9:39 pm

Blog Confessions and Phytoplankton

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The title of this article actually refers to a user on Tumblr (http://blogconfession.tumblr.com/), and I do not mean in any way to take credit for their posts.  The purpose of blogconfession is to allow tumblr users to submit anonymous confessions, for the sake of just getting it out.  Every confession is posted, no matter how bizarre.  I follow this blog, and some of the confessions people submit can hit home with me.  Others just make me want to cry.  Even more so, others make me want to laugh.  I’ve decided to post the ones that stick out to me the most at the moment.

10214.) I fake my orgasms. Every single one. I have never orgasmed in my life. Now, I fake-orgasm to get him to come a little quicker. I love sex (yes, even without orgasming), and I’m usually the one projectile-launching myself at him. But what with all the position changes, the name-calling, the standing up and laying back down, the sucking and the riding, sometimes I just think, enough. Just come already. And that’s when I start getting ready to fake-scream.

 

10209.) I Dutch Oven’d myself once… wasn’t so bad.

 

10189.) I hate myself. I used to be so pretty. I look in the mirror and all I see is ugly, short, big legs, fat. I could go on. It bothers me when girls complain about how they look… But deep down, I am one of those girls.

*That one especially hits a nerve for me, because I have been in that place and I know how much it hurts.

10182.) I got so drunk this weekend. It was only my third time drinking. I woke up to two guys fingering me.. I feel so stupid and awful, like my body’s been raped and abused. Is this even rape?

 

10158.) I wish I was a phytoplankton. Should I be concerned?

Ummmm…what??

10151.) To all those out there who are hurt, angry, depressed, frustrated or anything… Don’t worry because somewhere out there is a person who used to feel exactly like you, and they had their happily ever after. I’m just waiting for mine.

 

10146.) I’m tired of my best friend being so ditzy.

 

10144.) I wonder if you stalk my Facebook as much as I stalk yours…

 

10132.) I’m falling for him. I’m so pathetic, it’s only been a month and I already feel this way. Also I’m terrified my heart will be crushed when he realizes that I’m quite replaceable, and really nothing special at all.

 

This blog brings something new every day, and if you’re on Tumblr, I highly recommend that you follow it.  I am in love with this idea, and thank the creator for creating a place where people can safely write these things down.  Humans need release, and when you can’t go to people, at least you can get it out somehow.

 

Comment please!

Written by Danielle Keeler

July 30, 2011 at 11:19 pm

Can love be unconditional?

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Let me start of with a disclaimer: I am only talking of human love here.  Spiritual love is not included in the following topic, as I know that there is no swaying or debating that topic in some people’s minds.  That’s fine.  Just don’t bring it into my discussion please.
 

Can love really be unconditional?  I’ve been seeing quotes that say things like, “Nothing you could ever do would make me love you any less.”  It’s a nice thought; comforting, soothing, nice to hear when you’re afraid you’ve made a mistake.  However, is it true?  There have been times when I would have sworn it was.   I had a best friend who meant the world to me.  I told him everything, and trusted him more than I have ever trusted anyone.  However, that was months ago.  The two of us have drifted apart.  I realized he’s not trustworthy, he’s not dependable, and he was only pretending to care about what happened to me.  When we were still close, I thought that no matter what he said, no matter what he did, I would love him the same way.  I thought that he could tell me he didn’t care about me, and it would hurt, but I would still love him because I knew he didn’t mean it.

I was wrong.

Those things happened.  And as much as I hate to say it, I love him less for it.  I’m not sure I love him at all anymore.  He’s changed so drastically that I no longer see my best friend.  I don’t know how he feels about me at the moment, but to me he’s little more than an acquaintance.

I’m not trying to get your sympathy here.  I’m just using my relationship with him as an example; I was sure my love for him was unbreakable, and I was proven wrong.  But is it possible that love can be unconditional?  Or is there always something that could change your opinion of a person?

Pick anyone.  Someone you love.  Someone you think you will always love.  Now imagine discovering that they never truly cared about you.  That they never loved you the way you loved them.  Imagine them telling you that you mean nothing to them.  Can you honestly say your feelings for them wouldn’t change?  That your opinion of them wouldn’t be changed in the slightest?  Mine would.  When someone betrays me, I never think of them the same way again.  Is that just me, or is it humanity as a whole?  Tell me.  Comment.  I want to know.

Written by Danielle Keeler

July 29, 2011 at 5:19 pm