Danielle Keeler

think about it.

The most important thing you can know about the internet:

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Know that when I refer to “the internet”, I am referring mainly to social networking sites. However, it’s much shorter to say “the internet” than “social networking websites”.

The internet is NOT a place to air out your insecurities. Get it through your head. Facebook is not the place to vent about your boyfriend drama, Tumblr is not the place to tell the world how fat you feel or how ugly you think your body is (which, by the way, it’s not. You’re beautiful). And even more importantly, do not publish your entire life online.

I understand wanting to talk about your life. That’s human nature. We all talk about what’s important to us, and we want to share our joys and disappointments with others. And yes, misery loves company. I get that. But when all your emotions are displayed for the world to see, I guarantee it will come back and bite you in the ass. And remember this: NO BLOG/TWITTER/TUMBLR/ETC. IS ANONYMOUS. Someone will always find it, and you’ll regret the most personal things you wrote. Would you be okay with someone from your school reading it? Your office? Your book club? Then DON’T POST IT ONLINE.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with posting about your emotions. If you’re sad, you can explain why. If you’re happy, feel free to share. But some emotions are simply meant to be your own, or kept within a close circle of friends. If you’re going to explode without airing it out somehow, keep a journal. Tell a best friend. But please, please don’t air out your entire life on the internet. It’s not anonymous, it’s not private, and it will be seen by people you know. Maybe not right away, but it won’t stay anonymous forever. Be prepared for when it leaks, and don’t write anything you wouldn’t be okay sharing with those in your real life, not just those in your double-internet life (let’s be real, we’re all someone different online then we are in real life).


Written by Danielle Keeler

November 3, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Oh, how dearly I miss being fit.

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Sigh.  I don’t believe I’ve posted this before, but I should probably explain–I recently dealt with a case of severe tendonitis in my left knee.  I wasn’t supposed to run for a certain period of time, but of course, I was stupid and didn’t listen.  Guess what?  Take that severe case and multiply it by 10000000000, and you have what I got next.

Now, I am finally completely recovered, and have been cleared to run again.  The problem?  It’s cold, I’m busy, and I have gotten pathetically out of shape.  I have completely lost my motivation to get out and run after school like I used to do at least three times a week.  With work two days a week and a minimum three hours of homework five days a week, I am unable to find the energy to make myself run.  Plus, if I did run, it would have to be after dark, which doesn’t really appeal to me.  I’ve heard too many stories of girls getting abducted that way (Thank you, Criminal Minds).

But I oh, so dearly miss being in shape.  I miss my abs and shaving over calf muscle.  I miss being able to climb the three flights of stairs at school without being winded.  I miss feeling like a boss as I powered down the sidewalk, even though I know I’m not exactly attractive when I run (Pale skin = tomato face the instant I participate in any form of physical activity).  I miss being able to pull myself up onto the high tree branch to get to the top.  I miss being fit.

I want so badly to get back into it, but I simply have not been able to find the motivation or the time.  Gyms bore me–running in one spot defeats the purpose.  Zero-impact machines don’t build the muscle I miss so dearly.  I just want so badly to be back to the old, athletic me that I was, the one who fearlessly challenged her guy friends to run with her, knowing she could keep up.  The one who cherished the tired, warm feeling of her muscles after a run, not hated the burning she got climbing a set of stairs.

So I have settled for sitting and longing after that feeling, and since I currently cannot do anything (it’s dark, cold, and my neighborhood isn’t exactly the safest place to be alone at night), I shall have to be satisfied with complaining to my dear followers–all seven of them, who are undoubtedly the best bloggers on WordPress ;)

Written by Danielle Keeler

October 31, 2011 at 9:32 pm

I want to be able to sing.

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Now don’t get me wrong, I physically can sing.  However, whether I can sing well is a different story.  Like most people, I belt out songs in the shower and sing at the top of my lungs in my room–but to me, it doesn’t sound very pretty.  Voice lessons are currently out of the question, I can’t afford them on my strict minimum-wage budget.  So my question for you, dear followers, is this: does anyone have suggestions that can improve my sound?

I have youtube’d vocal exercises, and most of them are basic breathing, solid notes, that hasn’t had any effect so far.  I’m looking for songs that can help me work on my range, fun exercises that I don’t feel stupid doing.  I would really like to be able to sing without being ashamed of my voice, and I believe I’ve got at least some potential.  I may never be the next American Idol, but I feel like I have something that I might be able to work with.

My typical songs include songs with a mid to high range, I sing a lot of Taylor Swift and the Scene Aesthetic.  I also like to sing Panic! at the Disco, but those are a little more of a stretch.  I’m more of a soprano than an alto, but I have not been able to stretch my voice to the larger notes, no matter how hard I try.  I know there are techniques I can use to help this, but I haven’t been able to find any I can accomplish.  So leave me a comment, let me know if any of you are singers.  It will be very appreciated!

Written by Danielle Keeler

October 10, 2011 at 8:39 pm

Crazy Emails Since Joining WordPress…

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I don’t know if anyone else has had this problem, but since creating my blog here, I have received some pretty wacky emails.  Now, they’re obviously scams, but they’re pretty funny.  For example, here is one I received this morning:


Hii (*********@yahoo.in )
I saw your profile and became much interested in you.
My name is Miss Maureen.
please, contact me with this email adress,so that i can send you my picture for you to know how i look like.
Here is the email adress ( *********@yahoo.in )
Remember the distance or colour does not matter but love embraces every thing.
Take very good care of yourself i am expecting your immidiate and urgent respond to my mail as soon as you get this massage
Yours Maureen.


Ummm….yeah.  Here’s one I received on September 30:


Hello My Dear,

I was going through profiles and i pick interest on you i will like us to become friends and later discuss more of our future here is my address ( *********@yahoo.com ) it will be my pleasure to receive your response soon.

Here’s one from August 28:


How are you and how is your work? i hope that all is well with you, My name is miskateduga,I was  browsing on internet i saw your mail and profile and i dacide to write to you so that we exchange our pictures, and we may become partner.
Remember the distance  colour and age does not matter what matters is the love we share with each other.
i am waiting to hear from you soon.

Regards mis kate

Where do these people get the idea that I’m going to reply?  I’m not stupid enough to give any information to them, and hopefully my blog doesn’t suggest that I am.  I’m curious to know if anyone else has gotten similar emails, or if anyone knows how to stop them.  And these women obviously have not realized that I’m not a lesbian, or they would not be sending me this stuff.  I have gotten many others, but these were few of the first I found in my inbox.  To me, these all sound like they could be the same person, but I have no proof of that.  Anyway.  Leave a comment if you’ve gotten anything similar, and tell me what your response was!

Written by Danielle Keeler

October 9, 2011 at 11:44 am

Goodness. Gracious.

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I didn’t realize how long it had been since I wrote.  I am so sorry followers, I didn’t mean to abandon you (that is, assuming anyone actually checks my blog on a regular basis.  Let me dream.).  School is, as usual, hectic.  I just finished submitting a bunch of college applications, and I’ve finally got some time to sit down and write a good, solid post.  So here goes.

First off, my boyfriend insists that I put a message from him in here (he’s sitting at my kitchen table finishing his own college apps).

“To all of Danielle’s dearest followers: don’t let her talk you into thinking she’s normal.  She’s not.”

Thank you, darling.  Love you too.

Anyway.  Onward we go.  I am planning a pretty epic Star Wars marathon this weekend, to celebrate the end of the application process.  I got all my apps turned in early, so I’m completely done.  Now, I wait for a reply.  Let the nail biting commence.

I am dying to get into Penn.  I know it’s expensive, and I know the standards are high, but I have to go there.  Their criminology program is epic, and that’s what I want to major in.  And my family qualifies for a good bit of financial aid, so I think we could stretch the budget and make it work (I’m paying for half, so don’t think I’m naive enough to think my parents can summon money out of thin air.  I know how this stuff works).

I just realized that this article is extremely scattered.  Oops.  Maybe I’ll go for that whole stream of consciousness thing.  After all, it worked for Faulkner.  Then again, I absolutely hated reading his books…I hope my articles don’t sound like that.

My dog is currently obsessed with my guitar.  Every time I pull it out, he comes and sits at my feet like he wants nothing more than to hear me fail at teaching myself to play that damn instrument (it’s harder than it sounds).  I’ve been working for almost a month, and it’s very, very slow progress.  If anyone has any tips to speed up the process, I would love to hear them.

So I just realized my life is extremely dull.  I have nothing else to write about today.  OH! Vote Herman Cain in the Republican primaries (: that is all.

Written by Danielle Keeler

October 3, 2011 at 5:23 pm

So much to catch up on!

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It has been a very long time since my last post.  I apologize dearly for that.  With school starting, it’s been so hectic that I forgot about my blog entirely until today.  So I have a few basics to fill you in on.

One: I don’t know how to write titles.  Are the major words supposed to be capitalized?  Or is it just supposed to be the way I’ve been doing it?  I also am horrible at coming up with creative titles…sigh.

Two: Football is officially in session.  May I just say that this has made me extremely happy.

Three: Today is 9/11.  I could go into a long spiel about how we will never forget, how much we owe to not only those who sacrificed their lives, but to the rescue teams present on that day.  I could write on and on about how tragic 9/11 was, how incomprehensible it is to me that a human can have such hate in them that they would kill 3000 innocent people.  I could go on for several thousand posts, but I’m going to sum it up in two sentences: Thank you.  We will never forget.

Four: I discovered something amazing today.  Change the name of your iPod to “Titanic” on Itunes, hit sync, and then be amused as iTunes syncs the Titanic.  Its pretty entertaining.

Five: Yes, I know I’m easily amused.

Six: I would just like to take a moment to appreciate my friends.  You guys rock.

Seven: While I’m at it, I love my followers too.  You guys also rock.

Eight: Wild Blue is delicious.  This is my discovery of the week.

Nine: Unfortunately, I probably won’t be posting very frequently.  Life is chaotic right now and I don’t have a lot of extra brain power to write witty posts.

Ten: While chaotic, life is pretty damn good.  That is all.

Written by Danielle Keeler

September 11, 2011 at 9:01 pm

To a uterus…

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I do not understand why you enjoy torturing me so.  Why is it that no matter what painkillers I take, you insist on stabbing me with pain strong enough to make me want to kill anyone who looks at me the wrong way?  I understand that you are necessary, and back in the day you had to start torturing girls at age 12, but times have changed.  It would be much appreciated if you could learn to wait till we’re about 22, when we actually want to use you for your intended purpose.  There’s not much point to prepping a 17 year old to have a baby when that’s so socially taboo that it can reduce a person to drugs and depression. You make my pants too tight, my lower back hurt like hell, and my skin blotchy and gross.  And the worst part is that I have no method of retaliation: if I take medicine, you come back with a vengeance when it wears off.  If I exercise, you have spaz attacks in my abdomen.  No amount of heating pads or hot showers can sedate you, and you steal precious hours of sleep that are difficult to come by as it is.  You make me eat 5 pounds of extra food a day and then decide to punish me with more cramps.  You make me late for class because the line in the bathroom takes fucking forever.  You leave embarrassing stains on my clothes if I ignore you for even a moment.  You’re so clingy, I never have a moment’s peace when you’re around.  I have long since given up on trying to arrange a truce–but all I ask for is a tiny bit of mercy.   Let me sleep tonight?  Thanks.

Written by Danielle Keeler

August 28, 2011 at 5:00 pm